I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Floor bacon is actually really good
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
