I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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