All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
