Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
my liver is dry heaving
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
