Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
