Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
