Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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