i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
