I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
