New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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