So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
