so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
