I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
