I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
