If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
