I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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