Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
