he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
