I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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