Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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