Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
