Nicole vs. Life
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize