Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
