do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
