I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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