I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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