I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
