Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
