Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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