It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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