he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
