So drunk its hurt
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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