My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
