ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
