It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
