STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
