no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
