I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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