I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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