Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
