ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
