Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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