How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
