How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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