she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
