What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
