Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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