i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
