I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
