***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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