I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the day after is always just damage control
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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